Thank you all for the comments and e-mails: they are greatly appreciated and valued.
Just an update to say I am still here — and doing alright. I had quite a number of days off work, had a brief [5 days] stay in a psychiatric unit [which was helpful -- though at times mind-numblingly dull: the weekend in particular] and have now returned to work. It is a darn hard slog to be honest, and tears are never far off, but the love of family, friends and colleagues is helping me through.
This time it is more anxiety than depression: and while neither is pleasant the intensity of anxiety has shocked me. My mind is far too alert and far too involved at throwing thoughts at me that I barely know where to begin.
I saw a psychologist today which was helpful [kindly organised and paid through work]: but also rather daunting — there is work, and not easy work at that, to be done. I’m trying, and missing, to aim for one day, one hour, one minute at a time, as opposed to the frantic pace I am used to. But I must listen to my body — it cannot cope as it did, at least not now, and I need to recognise that.
Thank you again for your messages, thoughts and prayers. I do not know when I will get the strength and courage to write again, but I pray it will not be far off. God bless.
19:37 on November 10th, 2009
With prayerful support from here Ian. Take care of yourself.
20:03 on November 10th, 2009
Prayers and virtual hugs continuing from this corner of the world too. Take as much time as you need to look after yourself, and good to hear that you’re heading in the right direction.
xxx
20:24 on November 10th, 2009
Thanks for letting us know how things are going – still thinking of you …
20:39 on November 10th, 2009
Good to hear from you again Ian.
Prayers for you continuing from here.
20:53 on November 10th, 2009
Hugs, prayers and you look after yourself. You are a very special person.
22:36 on November 10th, 2009
what they said – take care of you and know that you’ve got oodles of support… from both near & far. consider yourself hugged ((((((ian))))))
22:49 on November 10th, 2009
Thanks for the update. Prayers for body, mind, soul and spirit. Be kind to yourself, Ian, and know that you are held in high regard by many.
22:53 on November 10th, 2009
I’m so glad you gave us an update. Prayers continue for you my far-away friend.
23:01 on November 10th, 2009
Message from Miffy:
Can you do me a bgi favour and pass on mssg to Ian on wibsite re his last blog. Wretched autofill won’t let me post, and have to dash to catch train. Just to say I was wondering only last night how he was doing, and that I’m praying.
00:11 on November 11th, 2009
SO pleased to hear from you again, Ian, and to have this opportunity to say once again that you are a very special person and frequently in my prayers.
One step at a time.
01:07 on November 11th, 2009
Ian,
We all love you and pray you find the peace of mind you need. We are praying that you will be made whole.
03:20 on November 11th, 2009
I’m so pleased you felt up to writing to update us. Be assured of my prayers as you keep on keeping on. As Lemly said, I’m glad it sounds like it’s going in the right direction, and prayers for strength and courage as you face the things you find most difficult.
05:39 on November 11th, 2009
I missed hearing about your trials, but be assured of my intensive prayers, love and hugs to you.
06:30 on November 11th, 2009
Love and prayers in bucket loads.
07:55 on November 11th, 2009
I was just thinking I hadn’t ‘seen’ you for a while – thanks for updating us. I will be keeping you in my prayers.
13:01 on November 11th, 2009
I can identify with everything you’ve said…prayers going up, wish I could do more.
13:19 on November 11th, 2009
I meant to add…I know you probably don’t know me from Eve, but I have had depression, anxiety and self-confidence problems for almost as long as I remember…Feel free to add to my blog or to email me if you’d like to talk.
22:50 on November 11th, 2009
Ian, it is so good to “see” you once again. I have been thinking about you a lot and prayers have been said on your behalf. May God continue to bless you…richly!
03:39 on November 12th, 2009
Ian,
I have missed you. I am so glathat things are slowly starting to improve. I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
love and hugs,
Elizabeth
22:45 on November 13th, 2009
Good to hear from you. Hope you’re well soon.
09:39 on November 14th, 2009
You should have seen the smile on my face when I saw you had commented on my blog. It meant that I knew you were back online (at least for that moment) and you had probably updated your blog. Thank you so much for letting us know how you are doing. As you know, there are many people around the world who love you and are looking out for you. Many hugs from me. XO
18:27 on November 14th, 2009
praying here for you
00:37 on November 16th, 2009
I’d been wondering how things were with you – good to hear from you and be assured of love and prayers from this corner of the Teapot! God bless.
20:30 on November 17th, 2009
Ian, on the radio today someone was talking about the chocolate creme brulee tarts at the Bourke Street Bakery in Sydney. Next time I’m there I’ll get you one.
02:44 on November 19th, 2009
Can you get me one, too, please, Unordered? They sound amazing!
09:54 on November 19th, 2009
Unordered, maybe we should put a bulk order in?
On the other hand, I might just find a good recipe and all visitors to London will be treated to one….
18:57 on November 23rd, 2009
oh yes, count me in too! I’m putting on weight just thikning about them! Oh, by the way Ian, HI – a bit rude just to use your blog as a conversation meeting post I guess
– hope you’re well and happy!
06:54 on November 25th, 2009
hello Ian, thanks for checking in and for your recent comment over at my ‘place’. Glad to hear that you’re getting help and continuing to send prayers for you and having prayerful thoughts of of you regularly.